Why do you do this work as a white woman? 👩
Well, the moment I'd been waiting for finally happened.
Not that it felt good. But it does feel valuable.
In a gentle way, even kind, I received the first explicit questioning of who I am to be offering services, such as the Chrysalis Experience: Nurturing Wellbeing for BIPOC Women and Changemakers, as a white woman.
I'd actually been anticipating this for the past few years. Having been focused in the space of multicultural issues for a couple decades, I've witnessed many changes within that time (mostly good!)
Given the history - both distant and recent - there is legitimate and well-earned distrust about "well-meaning" white people, and particularly white women, "trying to help" those from marginalized backgrounds.
Despite the overwhelmingly positive and affirming reactions I've received from BIPOC women when describing my work, those are in personal conversations. Not online posts.
Even among those that express heartfelt emotion, appreciation, and encouragement, "Why do you do this work as a white woman?" is the most common question I'm asked.
I still don't have a succinct, simple answer. I realize I'm breaking all the "marketing" rules. Sometimes, I wonder myself why I have such a deep passion and determination around supporting those from marginalized backgrounds, including those backgrounds that I don't share.
Ultimately, I probably owe the persistence and continuity of my passion to the amazing friends, clients, and cross-cultural experiences who have honored me with their trust and let me witness their inner brilliance. I can’t put into words the joy of bearing witness to and reflecting back their real, authentic shine.
And, of course, there were past experiences that shaped my values, sensitivities, and perspectives...the playground exclusion I mentioned last week...early upbringing...living with a Jamaican family in Sav-la-Mar for 3 weeks...living and working in a boys home in Detroit...among others...
Maybe there's no one piece that any of us can point to as to why we are now who we are. Instead it's more of a puzzle. Or a tapestry.
Regardless, the feedback the past couple days made me grateful that my friend Lynyetta helped me discuss these exact questions, respond to the curiosity (and wariness) about me doing this work, and show a few more of the pieces and threads that have shaped me.
The video is finally ready and freshly posted on my website "about" page.
Have you been curious?
Have you been reluctant to share with others or inquire about services because you didn't know how to explain a referral to a white woman focused on wellbeing for changemakers?
I've included a shortcut to watch the video here. It's a bit long, so listed below the video are the chapter markers if you want to skip to the clip that interests you.
Chapters
00:00 Beginning of Video
1:33 What are examples of the people you serve?
2:28 What happens when someone has the burden of experiencing injustice?
4:44 How do you help them?
8:24 Why is a blond-haired, blue-eyed, white woman doing this work with marginalized communities?
12:40 What would you say to people who wonder if you're trying to capitalize on the trauma of others?
16:00 What do you mean when you speak about this work as a "calling"?
19:35 Lynyetta's experience of Rebecca
21:53 The 2nd Grade Playground Influence
29:30 For those that are unsure about working together
34:27 Closing
Of course, it's far from perfect - just like me.
There are a million details I'd change.
But it's real. And it's me. And it's a chance for each person to make their own assessment about whether or not they want to have a conversation about the work I do.
As my dear friend Monet suggested, "Remember your heart."
In each experience, we have similarities and differences, and I always like to remind you how much your wellbeing matters, even if our experiences seem to be very different.
Whatever doubts, critiques, or challenges have come your way recently (internally or externally), I offer you the same gift.
Remember your heart. ❤️ 💙 💛 💜
You matter. You make a difference. I'm so thankful you're here.
