Warning: Proceed with Care ⚠️
"This material can be difficult. Take care of yourself throughout."
This was the warning - or perhaps advisement - posted at the beginning of a human trafficking training I completed as part of my professional license renewal.
Even in the simplicity, I was struck by all the wisdom these words contained.
It was not advising avoidance, denial, or minimization.
It was a full acknowledgement that the process of looking at and truly facing reality can be exhausting, emotional, distressing, and painful, as well as important and necessary.
It was an emphasis that one needs to tend to the emotions and respond with care, especially as you recognize and address some of the most abhorrent sides of human behavior.
This delicate balance between engaging with "difficult material" and "taking care" echoed through my heart again a few moments ago.
As I skimmed through posts on LinkedIn, the common theme in the posts by DEI professionals and thought leaders whom I follow caught my attention...They openly and vulnerably shared the connection between the intensity of how they were feeling and the recent (recurrent) slew of incidents in which people with black and brown skin were killed.
These posts echo the conversations I have on a weekly basis with clients and friends from historically marginalized backgrounds. The heaviness, the struggle to stay motivated, the fury, frustration, anger and irritability, the bone-deep exhaustion, and the gut-wrenching, resounding inter-generational heartbreak. 💔
More often than not, the societal context of pain and injustice is so constant - like the hum of the refrigerator - that the importance and urgency to..."Take care of yourself throughout" becomes muffled and diluted as well.
If you're anything like these resilient leaders, clients, and friends, the internal narrative bends toward an interpretation that the natural effects of racial trauma are instead personal shortcomings, or even failures.
"I don't know why I'm so tired all the time. I used to be more motivated"...
"I seem to be so forgetful lately. I lose track of what I'm doing and let things slip through the cracks I never would have forgotten before"...
"I can't get enough done. My mind keeps wandering and I can’t concentrate"...
"I keep snapping at my family and/or co-workers. I'm so irritable and reactive about things that usually wouldn’t affect me so much"...
...inevitably precede some version of the questions...'What's wrong with me? Why can't I keep it together?"
And then we recount the many external forces and influences that naturally affect a warm-hearted, deep-feeling, consciously-living human being at a cellular level as they bear witness to (and personally experience) the shredding and destruction of the bonds of humanity.
The acknowledgement that remaining connected to the world around us, including the harsh realities and man-made suffering, "can be difficult" - is to put it mildly.
Yet, how can we stay attuned and responsive to the needs, pathways, and opportunities for change if we withdraw from the reality - however harsh and difficult it may be?
Bearing witness to injustice, hatred, and bigotry is necessary (and even beneficial) for authentic connections, deep awareness, effective dialogue, and attuned responsiveness.
How then, do you stay informed and aware without becoming physically, mentally, or emotionally debilitated?
As simple as the guidance was, it was right there at the beginning of the training..."Take good care of yourself throughout."
To be honest, I realize this is vastly easier said than done...it requires the tools and strategies for identifying what you're feeling in the moment, tuning into these emotions with compassion, and responding with care.
And, it requires doing so "throughout." Like exercise, it's never finished completely. It's only "enough for now."
Given the difficulties we're witnessing every day, it means tending to your wellbeing with a frequency that meets (or exceeds) the barrage of pain and suffering.
It is only in holding both - the recognition of the suffering in the world AND tending to the suffering within - that one can effectively and sustainably engage in changemaking.
As I write this, I'm thinking of you.
How are you managing this tricky balance?
How are you tending to the emotions and "taking care of yourself throughout"?
What would support you in tending to your needs at a level and frequency that matches the difficulty of the material you're navigating?
You matter. You make a difference. I'm so thankful you're here.
