oops! that was embarrassing 😳 🙈

Do you know the feeling when you send or say something and immediately wish you could rewind and delete?  

Let me preface by admitting - as an introvert, I am often quite cautious and intentional about considering what I want to convey, and how, before I express myself.  (I actively work on speaking up and sharing what I'm processing, so that my thoughts don't all stay trapped in my head!)  😁

Unfortunately, my slow and thoughtful pace is not always the case. 

Yesterday morning, as I rushed to prepare for my first appointment... after dropping a very nervous (and unenthusiastic) little one off to school... I quickly dashed off 3 long text messages (from my computer so I could type faster!) After a misunderstanding the previous day, I was in a rush to address a scheduling challenge that was deterring me from planning a special birthday celebration for a loved one.  

Send.  Send.  Send.

Just as I was about to sign off and onto the next task, my eye caught the top of the frame...instead of one phone number in the sent field, there were 4!!! 

I had sent all 3 (terse) messages to a "group" text string rather than privately to the one person that was intended.  I deleted as fast as I could...  

"Are you sure you want to delete this message?  This action cannot be undone."

YES, I WANT TO DELETE!  I want to erase what just happened!!!  

Of course, even as I deleted, I knew it probably wasn't that easy. 

Sure enough, a quick google search confirmed - while I could delete the messages from my own account, it was not the same as retrieving and deleting them from the recipients.  😔 

So, I dashed off a 4th message to the same string:

Sorry everyone.  I obviously just sent messages incorrectly. Challenges of managing busy schedules.  Please delete and disregard.

Of course, I knew all the messages would be seen and read before getting to the request to disregard or delete.  

There is no way to go back in time - whether with spoken words, actions, or text messages sent to the wrong recipients. The only decision is how to move forward. 

Can you relate?  You're rushing through, trying to do so much, hoping to get one more thing done in the next 90 seconds, and suddenly wish for a re-do?

How do you handle this when it happens?  

I talk to many people who are carrying around freight trains of shame from past mistakes.  

~ Berating themselves for decisions they made when their brains weren't even fully developed.

~ Chastising themselves for actions they wish they had taken, or not taken, that were formed by past experiences outside their control. 

~ Critiquing how they could've, would've and should've been "better".

~ Judging themselves as failures for not knowing sooner what they have learned since. 

Maybe you can relate to that, too.  It's simple to slip into judgment against the standard of what you wish you had known or done differently - especially in retrospect.  (What's that about hindsight being 20/20?)  😉

Sadly, carrying that shame creates holding tanks of self-doubt - reservoirs which never seem to experience drought - where you risk drowning in the same patterns you are trying to avoid...

• Disconnecting from others when you most want connection.

• Remaining quiet when you really want to say something.

• Lashing out when you deeply want to be approachable.

• Delaying or distracting from goals when you're passionate about your vision and impact.

• Dimming your light when the world desperately needs your shine.

Unless you have a power I don't, the rewind button doesn't work, and the pain-blame-shame cycle doesn't prove any more effective. 

Similarly, racing frantically to the finish line of your task or goal is more likely to create additional slips and errors (as I can witness to first-hand from yesterday's mishap!) than growth, success, or change. 

What if there was another way to recover and move forward that didn't cost so much AND improved your next outcomes - all while supporting you in feeling good about yourself and how you show up in the world?  

As paradoxical as it may seem, soothing your nervous system buttresses your efforts to make change - inside and out.  Even when it involves taking space. slowing down, or learning from (and forgiving with compassion) the last mistake before moving forward.

How do you soothe your nervous system?

You matter.  You can make a difference.  I'm so thankful you're here.