oops - its not only seasickness 🌊
Last week I shared the story of my adventures on a houseboat (and the associated seasickness). As it turned out, there was a second chapter to that story...within a couple days I tested positive for covid. 😮💨 Perhaps my symptoms cannot all be blamed on seasickness after all!
That meant that in the last week, I had extra opportunities to reflect on how I handle and respond to situations in which I am feeling queasy, uneasy, or otherwise unwell (and am continuing to do so as I continue to recover!) 😁
Hopefully, you reflected, too, on how you respond during and after you feel unstable, rattled, or otherwise unsettled. How do you bring self-compassion, insight, and action to the process?
Responding to your own emotions, sensations, and disequilibrium is extremely valuable for regaining your "balance" more quickly and staying effective in your efforts - whether they are navigating those intense conversations, advocating for needed (and long overdue) policy changes, or showing up each day as your best self... despite the constant second-guessing and undermining of others.
What's equally important (and perhaps equally difficult in some cases) is how you respond to others in the moments when they are unsettled (and you are not). 🤔
Maybe it's a co-worker who perceived a different tone or implication in the last committee meeting, a friend who was offended by another friend's comment, or a family member who expresses hurt about something you did or said (that you certainly didn't intend to be upsetting!)
How do you hold space for another person's experience when they are upset and you don't have the same issue, or even the same perception of the experience?
Reflecting on the same questions as last week still applies, with a slightly different lens...
How do you respond to their unease?
Do you tend to them gently, with compassion and interest in understanding? (Can you hold this space even when you have a decidedly opposite point of view?). 😬
Do you doubt, question, or critique them for feeling bothered when you are not?
Do you share in their process, or encourage them (intentionally or unintentionally) to "keep it to themselves"?
How do you listen and tune in to the messages in their experience?
How does this help you to understand more about this person?
What can this show you about your own biases or blind spots?
What do you learn about yourself through this process?
What lessons, insight, or actions do you take away based on this deeper or changed understanding of another person's experience?
As my friend Lora commented on last week's LinkedIn post, social justice has a lot to do with holding space for different experiences...and, I'd add, what you do in response.
When we can connect compassion for ourselves and compassion for others with equal abundance, then we will have tapped our greatest resource for making a lasting impact.
You matter. You can make a difference. I'm so thankful you're here.
