Jar of sparkles, wreath of hands
How are you holding up today? What emotions and sensations are present with you in this moment? Angry? Sad? Fed up? Hopeful? Fearful?
Yesterday I visited my daughter's pre-K classroom for a "presentation" she eagerly requested to share with her class: How to Create Calm and Peaceful Feelings.
Honestly, I debated whether to record the audio in case I later found myself in need of evidence of what we said (or didn't say).
Why did I consider compiling evidence about a presentation to a group of 3-5 year olds on peaceful feelings, you might wonder?
Because, in addition to a jar full of pink sparkles (what else to create happy feelings?!? 🤗) she wanted to bring a craft she made a couple years ago for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day - a wreath of hands in different colors.
She wanted to highlight that to help others feel calm and peaceful, we need to welcome people of all skin colors (and ages, genders, abilities, and so on).
Given the current sociopolitical climate, I truly considered whether our 20 minute presentation would be considered an effort to "indoctrinate" children.
What a sad state that is.
Even my 5 year old knows how important these themes are - how we must care for our own emotions as we also support the wellbeing of others.
Strong emotions are helpful fuel for passion and motivation. However, if we don't take care of them, they can easily veer us toward being reactive (or passive) without being effective.
When you tend to your sensations and emotions, you unlock access to one of your most powerful tools for effective action: your power of communication.
Speaking up, engaging in dialogue, and connecting with others (verbal or written) continues to be an essential building block for change.
The QUEST framework has 5 ways to speak up that can be shaped and revisited in a variety of ways to fit your style, situation, and topic. (If you'd like me to resend you the link, please let me know.)
While my friend's tongue-in-cheek suggestion to include "I don't want to hear it" as it's own category 🤣 is completely valid (you could fit this under E - Experience/Emotions, btw 😉), you may also find complementary tools and strategies in how Loretta Ross discusses "Calling In."
Her TedX talk demonstrates her style of bringing levity to the work of dismantling white supremacy, one response at a time, and can certainly apply to the many, many topics of tense conversation and areas for change we desperately need right now.
Watch for the ways that Loretta highlights pragmatic and effective approaches which allow ourselves to grow in the process...I love 😍 her self-assessment question, "Are you in a healed enough space for someone else's feelings?"
What speaks to you?
Loretta J. Ross: Don't call people out -- call them in | TED
Even if this message finds you momentarily (and understandably) in the "I don't want to hear it" response phase (or the "I beg your pardon" response Loretta mentions!), may Loretta's ability to use these techniques to love and care for KKK members and avowed white supremacists encourage and uplift you for the opportunities ahead in your circles.
You matter. You can make a difference. I'm so thankful you're here.
