calculus, rock-climbing, or swimming with 🐊
I've been doing something I really dislike. It feels risky. Vulnerable. And highly uncomfortable.
Wanna guess?
No, it's not rock-climbing, improv, or singing in public. 🗣️
It's not calculus, swimming with crocodiles, or climbing Mt. Everest. ⛰️
Have you figured it out?
I've been asking for help.
How are you when it comes to asking others for help?
Maybe you have this figured out. My daughter and spouse both seem to have no trouble...(and I mean NO TROUBLE 😂) asking for help.
Maybe you learned early on that people will often and reliably respond.
Maybe you survived by persisting in asking for and expressing what you needed.
Maybe you realized that asking for help IS a great option to get better results more quickly (And that you can't do it all yourself, And that people feel good when given the opportunity to reciprocate, And that it leads to more creative and effective outcomes, And that teaching a person to fish...And etc., etc., etc.). 😜
Well, if you've got this down, kudos, for sure. In my book, you deserve a medal 🏅 - no joke. (Do you think Paris has any extras lying around?)
Asking for help is a valuable and under-estimated skill. 💯
I know it is. I believe it to be true. I see the difference it makes.
And, it's still uncomfortable.
And maybe, just maybe, I'm guilty of avoiding it at times. 😆
Yeah, it's still a work in progress, okay? 🤣
I know I'm not alone, because as I was touring visiting family around recently, we perused a small gift shop that had all sorts of trinkets with encouragement, support, and humor that touched on the wisdom and reluctance to take up space, ask for what's needed, and live fully into your purpose.
They couldn’t stay in business if it didn’t resonate, right?
The thing is, I still find it easier (not easy, just easier) to ask for help when it's for the benefit of someone else.
When I know what's at stake for others, I am less comfortable allowing my vulnerability to hold me back. When I stay connected to the bigger purpose behind my request, I find it easier to be brave. When I am aligned with my passion to serve others, then it's no longer about me.
So, if you're anything like me, here are a few questions you might consider to get over the hurdle of discomfort:
Who else benefits if you get this request met?
Who else suffers if you don't?
What is the bigger purpose behind the request?
How does asking for this align with the bigger picture of who you are and how you want to show up in the world?
How might your example empower others to do the same?
And, if it helps, you can wear a bracelet reminding you, "I am not afraid. I was born for this" like I saw in the store! 😉
The reality is, you're not alone. Many of the most incredible people I know (and work with) share struggles in the private spaces of coaching and therapy that would surprise even those closest to them. From the outside, you probably look like you have it all together, too. It’s only on the inside you might be secretly asking, “How much longer can I go on like this?”
Or, maybe another question is…How much longer do you want to?
What will help you overcome the reluctance and discomfort of speaking up, asking for help, and saying what you need?
No matter how you slice it, you getting what you need allows you to show up more fully, compassionately, and energetically for others...and that means meeting your needs is one of the most self-less things you can do.
You matter. You make a difference. I'm so thankful you're here.
