Fulton is NOT the same as Fullerton 😉

"I'm thankful for safe travel, the means to make mistakes, and the patience and understanding of others so I could recover."  

This was part of my daily gratitudes Saturday night as I fell into my hotel bed, exhausted, after an unintended driving tour of Chicago and a wonderful dinner with my very patient and understanding friend at a very patient and understanding restaurant! 

It had been a full day at the American Association of Physician Leaders Spring Leadership Conference.  I'd shared my workshop on self-compassion as a catalyst to greater social impact as well as attending talks on health equity and a fantastic DEI networking session.  

As an introvert, events like this expend a lot of extroverted energy.  I truly enjoy meeting new people, changing our paradigm of "pushing through", and taking in new information.  

And, given how tiring it can be, it's helpful to know when and how I'll be able to recharge.  

All day I'd been looking forward to the reward at the end, meeting my friend June for dinner.  She'd thoughtfully sent a selection of restaurants and we'd set our time and place.  The menu looked delicious and I knew her company and our conversation would be rejuvenating.

Despite this, 15 minutes late for the reservation, I found myself alone at a random intersection in uptown Chicago, 40 minutes from my hotel, my head swimming with the sights and sounds of the city... and the restaurant nowhere in sight.  

I took a few breaths, texted June to let her know I'd finally arrived (though I wasn't sure where) and pulled up the map on my phone to look at which direction to walk toward the restaurant, which must be right here, right?!?

Nope. The map showed that I was a 17 minute DRIVE from where I was supposed to be.  

My breath shortened, my chest tightened, my head spun, and I could feel tears springing to my eyes.  

I didn't know what happened.  How had I ended up here?  What was I going to do to "fix" it?

If you're anything like me, you can relate to putting pressure on yourself to do it all, and do it with excellence.  You strive to be at the top of your field and deliver outstanding results while also showing up for your kids, family, and wider community.  

The last thing you want is to make a mistake that negatively impacts others, and when something goes wrong, it feels terrible.  

How do you handle it when it happens that despite your best efforts and intentions, the plan hasn't worked?  Your intentions didn't deliver the desired outcome?  Your head is swimming and you're not sure how you got here or how to make it right again?

While I couldn't have articulated these thoughts at the time, this was what was happening in my body.  

Thankfully, I know these cues and I recognized the signs.  I took a couple breaths and called June to sort it out.

June's response was immediately reassuring.  While neither of us knew (yet!) how I'd been delivered to a location 20 minutes off-course, she helped with the solution.

Soon we had reassurance that the restaurant would hold the reservation, June would continue to wait patiently, and I would catch another ride back asap.

It worked out.  

I joked with the next driver, a kind man from Jordan, about ending up in the wrong location.  I looked back through my app to understand what happened (hoping I could blame the app, lol!), and, just for future reference, Fulton and Fullerton Streets in Chicago are NOT the same thing.  🤣😂🤣

In my haste, I'd selected the address that had begun to auto-populate when I'd rushed to type in my destination.  Another reminder that slowing down and double-checking assumptions (and technology) can be worth the effort! 😉

The rest of the evening was just as I'd hoped.  Great food, laughs, conversation, and catching up over personal and business experiences.  

We even planned our next steps for how we're going to expand our collaboration to deliver services to support the wellbeing and resilience of BIPOC in higher education, with a focus on the unique needs and challenges facing Black women...a natural integration of both of our expertise.

And, June made sure I went back to the right hotel address on the first try!  

As I typed up my gratitudes for the night, I had much to be thankful for...including the reminders that mistakes are natural and that others can often be an understanding, patient, and forgiving part of the resolution.

Given a plethora of conversations this week in which I hear people being particularly hard on themselves, unforgiving and critical... afraid that others will be just as harsh on them as they are on themselves, I thought you might benefit from the lessons of my mistakes.  

Whatever the expense of your mistake, you minimize the additional emotional cost when you can quickly reach out, seek support from those who are safe, and work together to make repairs and adjustments.  

You matter.  You can make a difference.  I'm so thankful you're here.